Bitter Gertrude

What WalMart thinks I’m wearing

I didn’t think there could be any more WTFery coming out of major retail corporations than WalMart’s recent listing of “Jewish costumes” for children. Dress your child like a Jewish Grand Rabbi! What we imagine to be a not-so-grand Jewish Rabbi! A Jewish High Priest! Jewish Mothers! (I dress NOTHING LIKE THAT, but I imagine you can’t sell a costume that’s just a Star Wars T-shirt, yoga pants, and a pair of Chucks.)

Just in case you need evidence (and I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND if you do, because WHAT) here: WalMart’s Insanity

Do I need to explain the racism here? No? Are we good? OK, moving on.

Now the geniuses at Anthropologie are under the impression that someone will pay $398 for a two-foot-tall candlestick with a Mammy and JFK on it.

Seriously.

I’m not offended, I’M PERPLEXED.

The hell is going on? I’ve already resigned myself to the fact that America is much more racist than my Bay Area-born, liberal-raised ass wants to believe, but I question the judgment of execs who think they can sell “Jewish” costumes (WHO WOULD BUY THESE?) and I am doing even more questioneering about the judgment of retail execs who think thousands of people would be willing to spend $398 on a stack of racist, hotglued crap.

But hold the phone. The “Trinket and Treasure Candlestick” is unique! Each piece is different! EVEN MORE WTFERY. This means that Anthropologie had to specifically select a candlestick with racist nonsense on it out of a box of less-racist candlesticks. Someone with a degree in Marketing had to purposely select, photograph, and cause to be posted online the candlestick with the Mammy on it. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? Sounds like a legit marketing tactic, right?

And you just KNOW they’re going to get complaints when people open their boxes and discover their candlesticks were LESS RACIST THAN ADVERTISED.

If the world is going to insist on confusing the fuel-injected fuck outta me within an hour of waking up, I’m going back to bed.

See Anthropologie’s nonsense for yourself.